Thoughtful Thursday: when a friend’s in need, how can we help?

Sometimes when someone we care about is in need, we have to remind ourselves that we can’t fix everything, as much as we may want to.

In some instances, appropriate words of encouragement may be helpful.


But not always. Some they’re just not ready to be helped. They’re not there yet. Showing you care and are always there for support is the best you can do. And that is enough.

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18 Responses to Thoughtful Thursday: when a friend’s in need, how can we help?

  1. debscarey says:

    So true Jane, so true.
    I particularly like the first one – as the Map is an NLP concept. I’ve saved it for future inspiration.

  2. “Loan them your map.” Perfect. Thank you for sharing this.

  3. BernieLynne says:

    I truly feel like you looked into my life right now and wrote these words specifically for me.
    The problem for me is that professional help is being resisted so using a map won’t help if you are at the bottom of the well. I just keep supporting as much as I/we can. It makes my heart so so heavy to see our child struggle with mental health issues.

    • Jane Fritz says:

      Oh, Bernie, I’m sorry to hear that this resonated so closely for you. It resonated for me as well and I thought that there might be others for whom the first quote could offer some solace. You are not alone on this parallel voyage. 🙏

      • BernieLynne says:

        It’s just so hard Jane. But it’s not our journey and as you said we can only support them. I know this from a close friend who has really really struggled with her mental and physical health.

  4. jane tims says:

    Just being there and asking the simple question ‘how can I help?’ might be the prudent thing to do. I like the idea of loaning the other person a map, to show where someone else has gone before.

    • Jane Fritz says:

      Very true, but sometimes the person’s hurting too much to go there yet. Or they just have to do it their way. That’s when it’s particularly hard on those who would like to help.

  5. LiziRose says:

    Such a good reminder. “You can loan them your map, but the trip is theirs”
    I have one friend who doesn’t make the best choices romantically. But I’ve stopped offering advice unless she specifically asks for it, and even then I try to let go of all expectations and not take it personally if she does the opposite thing I suggested 🤦 Everyones on their own journey, I have to respect it.

  6. heimdalco says:

    Gifts are always appreciated but the thing I appreciated most when going through a health crisis was a friend who sat with me, let me cry if I needed to & encouraged me to “talk.” I really needed someone to listen & allow me to say … out loud … what I was really feeling & to be honest. That was the MOST helpful thing & I was blessed with a friend who understood that.

  7. The Widow Badass says:

    Sometimes all you can do is to hold space for them.


  8. So well put! Sometimes it’s very hard to know what to do or say when someone is going through a hard time.

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