Visiting grandma and grandpa

Like so many other seniors who haven’t seen their kids or grandkids since the pandemic started so long ago, we are living the dream of having visits from our families this summer.  Face to face instead of screen to screen.  For the first time in SOoooo long! Although in our case our loved ones only live in Ontario, for the past 16 months they may as well have been in Australia or Outer Mongolia.  Staying put and staying safe has been paramount. 

But now our fully vaccinated offspring are filling up their cars with kids, bikes, camping gear, and all the other essentials necessary for life away from home for a few weeks.  And grandparents have been washing sheets and towels, making up beds, and trying to remember what everyone likes to eat – and what they don’t like to eat.  Making sure there are plenty of treats. 

GG-CarFullLoad3

For when little ones will be around, there’s also remembering that there may be some things you should put away in advance.  (I have to admit to having forgotten about that.  A bowl of pins and needles by the TV would have been better removed in advance!)

You anticipate these visits for so long and then of they’ve come and gone in a flash, right?!  The challenge of course is to create lasting memories with (and for) grandchildren you don’t get to see all that often.

GG-Welcome

As we (that’s the royal we) strip beds, rewash sheets and towels, and remake beds before the arrival of the next cherished family, I find myself thinking about the trips we made to my grandparents’ house when I was a kid.  For the very first time in 15 years of being a grandmother myself, I’m thinking about how my grandparents viewed our visits.  Or at least I try to imagine what my grandparents’ perspective might have been, because of course kids really can only see things from their own perspective.  That’s just how it works.

GG-GrandmaTreat

Those visits cemented lasting memories for me, and they are very good ones.  For me.  But I happen to know, because they talked about it a fair bit in advance of each trip, that my parents’ memories were not nearly as fond.  In fact, it’s fair to say that they dreaded each visit.  My Mom was an only child and her parents were our only living grandparents, so at least once a year – and sometimes twice – my parents put three squabbling kids in the backseat of the car – in those days before minivans, seatbelts, and entertainment devices – and drove 8 hours on old Route 9 from Long Island to Glens Falls.  Their conversation in the car centered mostly on how they would get through the visit.  What Grandpa might say or do that would upset Dad and how he wasn’t supposed to say anything.  How overdone the dinner would be because Grandma would start cooking it hours too early.  And on it went.  Looking back, I realize that these trips also cut into my Dad’s 2 weeks’ annual holidays, which wouldn’t have helped soften the mood. 

I can still remember where I slept.  On a roll-away cot in the corner of their dining room.  I loved feeling all snuggly and by myself in that room.  I can still bring it to mind 60-70 years later; I can still remember the sound of the fridge motor in the kitchen through the passageway, somehow comforting in the dark in my special cozy place at my grandparents’ house. 

Now I’m wondering where my brothers and parents slept.  And how my grandparents got the roll-away cot up from the basement.  And, mostly, how they felt about the impending visit.  Were they counting the days until we arrived, like I’ve been doing recently?  Were they dreading my parents’ silent disapproval, or did they even know about it?  Of course, they had to get all the bedding and beds ready, and plan food for 5 extra people, who I now realize eat far more than most seniors.  My parents never seemed to mention any of these things.  And neither of my parents ever lived long enough to see it from a grandparent’s perspective. Or from the perspective of a senior. Perhaps they would have modified their views!

I’m pretty sure my grandparents were delighted to see their grandchildren regardless of whatever friction may have existed between them and their daughter and son-in-law.  My memories of my Grandma include playing lots of dominos and tiddly winks, and then Scrabble when I was a little older, swinging on her front porch swing with her, learning to sew and threading her needle for her when she could no longer see close up.  Just having her being part of my life.  My memories are all positive.  All warm.  Those are the kinds of memories – the kind of feelings – that I hope our grandchildren will hold decades from now.  That’s what we’re building with each visit. 

Speaking of which, it’s time to put some extra towels in the washing machine!

GG-towels

 

Image source: Pinterest

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30 Responses to Visiting grandma and grandpa

  1. I have fond memories of my grandma visits too. Both my grandpas passed away before I was born though. I had a couple step grandpas but I wasn’t very close to them. I loved reading this post. Playing games and learning to sew with grandma, those are the memories we keep in our hearts to warm our hearts through the years when we need a little TLC from the past. Glad to hear you are all getting back to seeing each other again, that is so important. Have a wonderful week and visit with the kids.

  2. We share the same time of separation from our grandchildren a you, Jane. It’s 16 months since we had to leave he US in a hurry to get back before all the planes stopped flying, and we’ve covered the distance between Houston & Cheshire in the UK with many other methods on line – and letter writing too. Although we still don’t know when we’ll be able to meet in person, the connection has been maintained with our grandchildren and it’s very strong – for which I’m so grateful. Sometimes it’s really tough not knowing when we’ll meet, but we keep everything crossed (eyes, legs?!) that it will happen. Like you, we’ve been very mindful of creating good times and laying down priceless memories, when the children have been staying here & when we’ve been staying with them. I’m missing their hugs of course, and I’d willingly get that bedroom they share ready for them, washing, food shopping for their favourites etc. Roll on the day!

    • Jane Fritz says:

      I think you and Barry have already laid down many priceless memories with your grandkids, but you’re right, being given the opportunity to add to the memory-building list is what we all yearn for. Now to wait for the UK and US to get their respective acts together wrt dealing with COVID outbreaks and reasonable restrictions. Cross your fingers for that one as well! :0

  3. Have a wonderful time with your grandkids! I’ve been a grandparent only a year, but those memories are everything, and I hope my little Ellie will have fond memories as she grows.

  4. Inkplume says:

    So happy that you have great memories from when you were a grandchild and that you are making new ones for your grandchildren. Enjoy!

  5. BernieLynne says:

    This is so exciting for you and your family! Enjoy this precious time together.

  6. Oh what fun you will have and the memories those kids will take home with them!! I wish you every happiness and lots of photo opportunities to go with them!! Can’t wait to hear all about the trip to Grandmother’s house!!!

  7. How exciting! You’ll get to hug everyone again. That’s priceless after so long apart.

  8. LA says:

    Nice post! Wishing you make lots of memories!

  9. Pingback: Visiting grandma and grandpa — Robby Robin’s Journey – Musings and Wonderings

  10. Thanks Jane for a valued look back and forward through life. As the youngest of 5 kids I was unfortunate in that both sets of grandparents had passed but I remember my kids and my Mom as a grandparent and now we are very fortunate to be grandparents!

  11. heimdalco says:

    I love this post … especially since my husband & I are about to become first time grandparents in November. We have the luxury of living in the same area as our son & daughter-in-law but I hope we build happy memories with the new little one as you described in this post. Since our son & his wife own / run a thriving restaurant that is coming back to its full potential following COVID (the Delta variant be damned) I feel certain having grandparents close at hand as baby sitters will be a joyous situation for us all … LOL

    • Jane Fritz says:

      Oh my, you are in for a treat! And live nearby, that is truly special. It will be a different kind of relationship. How lovely, a new phase of life is about to begin! 😊

      • heimdalco says:

        I’ve already “accidentally” been on an on-line baby clothes buying spree … LOL. Our daughter-in-law collects penguins & I was AMAZED at the numerous penguin baby things there are out there. (I have a feeling this is only the beginning, as you suggested)

  12. annemariewatson says:

    Great thoughts on perspective.

    • Jane Fritz says:

      Thanks, Anne-Marie. Of course the first hurdle one has to get over is the concept we always had that our grandparents were ancient. Now we know that wasn’t true at all!! 😊😂

  13. DM says:

    I am happy for you Jane! We’ve been doing some of the same here in Iowa. Had a family reunion w/ my parents (87 and 89) a couple of weeks ago, and just this past weekend, our eldest and their two kids were here for a visit. Hadn’t seen those grand kids for a year plus either. I feel for your dad 🙂 Those visits would have been “interesting”. Take care DM

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