Area Man Dies Having Spent 93% Of The Miracle Of Existence Bitching About Immigrants

Another worthy post from my favourite satirist, The Out and Abouter. We all know someone like this. What a sad waste of a life, making yourself even more miserable than you make others. The last line’s the best.

The Out And Abouter

img_9523 Don Mitchum. Seen here unable to enjoy a starry night for fear that someone else might also like to enjoy it. 

Don Mitchum, 82, of Burlington, Ontario, died fitfully today in his childhood home, after a long and unfulfilling life spent worrying that people with names he refused to try and pronounce might come and live in some proximity to him.

Best known amongst his contemporaries as not really having all that much nice to say, and mostly just being the kind of guy you steered clear of once you got to know him, Don was well remembered. If not fondly.

“We didn’t called him ‘Bitchin’ Mitchum’ for nothing,” says lifelong acquaintance, Timothy Hawfield, who pointedly asked to not be referred to as Don’s friend. “He was always complaining about one group of people or another. In the 50’s, when we were teenagers together, it was the Italians and Portuguese…

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2 Responses to Area Man Dies Having Spent 93% Of The Miracle Of Existence Bitching About Immigrants

  1. Roy McCarthy says:

    Yes that blog is well-written and aimed, even though some of the nuances pass me by sometimes. Satire generally isn’t what it was pre-social media.

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